What is happening and how do I survive it!?

Look, I hear you. We’re all worried….Shit is getting scarier and scarier by the day.

It’s easy to get lost in all the negativity, horrified at the level of corruption and hate bursting out into the open like a zit being squeezed.

Really…it looks bad and it feels like it’s going to get worse…

It probably will.

And like you, I get tired. I get tired of being cynical of everything I read and see. I long for the days when what was written or said was true and am saddened to realize that it most likely never was.

My eternal optimism is waning.


The truth is, we have built ourselves a little bubble in which we can hide our dirty little secrets of white privilege, racism, bigotry and greed and that bubble is popping and while it sucks… I feel in my heart, like this is a good thing….

Wait…hear me out.

I can honestly say that I am greedy. I want to have a nice house, a nice car, a good education for my kids. I can honestly say that I will not have many issues walking down a street (well unless I’m alone), but for the most part, I’m white, middle class (barely – but I fake it well) My kids are  white, educated (even if they go to public schools, they are “the good ones” and they have a parent who challenges them to read beyond the textbooks)

Those desires are basically the pursuit of happiness…our inalienable right…right???

Has the pursuit of happiness been co-opted by capitalism? You bet is has, and I’ve played a big part in that, we all have. We had no choice, it’s the system.

A few years ago I seriously began to question how I participated in unconscious capitalism, the perpetuation of greed over humanity. Even as I call myself a liberal, perceive myself as open minded, non-racist or bigoted, it’s important that I asked myself, how am I those things, even in the slightest bit? Is there room for improvement?

Our entire system is built on many “truths” that are essentially racist, bigoted, greedy and harmful to humanity as a whole. It’s imbedded into our subconscious and even if we’re the coldest snowflake on the planet, it’s hiding, within us.

Right now, we can’t even codify the equal rights amendment. Why is that so hard? The pursuit of happiness…but only if you’re white, wealthy and privilege…everyone else, go screw yourself? It doesn’t say that in the constitution, does it?

We often hold up the constitution as if it’s the golden rule, guided by the hand of God himself. But if you think about it, the Constitution, much like the Bible was written by a bunch of white guys, many with good intentions, but alas written under the spell of fear, capitalism, desire for control and power over others and from the perspective of the patriarch.

If things are really going to change into the world we want, all of that is going to have to fall away. All of it. We are going to have to shift from duality, from Patriarch over Matriarch and Matriarch over Patriarch, from us and them, away from materialism as our way of life, our model of economics to conscious awareness of humanity, of the earth and  into balance and true equality.

We’re going to have to live from the perspective of; We all have gifts to give, we have enough  and love rules.

And change of that magnitude is not going to be pretty.

Have you ever watched a caterpillar become a butterfly?

First, the caterpillar is literally taken over, it’s somewhat violent and scary and then It’s alot of pushing and prodding and stretching, and it takes great force to break free.

How can we stay sane during this transition?

  1. Stay present with how you feel. It’s ok to feel anxiety, fear, stress about what’s happening. Take as many moments as you need during the day to breathe, meditate, and remember that this is a process and you are ok. Find something beautiful in the world to look at for a minute, a flower, watch a bird or a butterfly, close your eyes and feel the sun on your face. All of this will release happy endorphins into your body which will help you shift your mood.


  1. Take actions that impact the outcome. Vote, volunteer, get involved with at least one issue that is meaningful to you. Being involved with allow you to feel less helpless. Participating helps you feel more in control and feeling in control is a comfort to most of us (even if you’re not really in control, and accepting that will go a long way). Even so, taking actions, even small ones like choosing where you shop, what you buy, are really impactful. Becoming conscious of how you’re interacting in the world will help you feel empowered about your contribution.
  2. Limit social media and news. The truth is most of what you read is inflated, exaggerated and designed to upset you emotionally. Learn to discern and always check out anything you read, hear or watch. It may take a little longer to verify the information and what I have found is once I take these additional steps I usually find it’s not as bad as the headline and I can see action steps I can take to make a change if needed, or I can ignore it and move on to things that really need my support.

One of the things that is happening now, that is most disconcerting to us humans is that our foundation of reality, of truth is being questioned. Not knowing what is or isn’t true causes a lot of anxiety. We humans like to “know”. Find a way to become comfortable with not knowing, yet trusting. Take stock each day of all the ways in which you were ok, you were safe, you made it. Keep a list of all the good things that are happening for you. This may seem like something small, but as you spend more time focusing on the good, participating in impactful action, making small shifts that allow you to feel like you are part of the solution (and you are, for every dollar that you spend on a product that is good for the environment, or every dollar that you don’t spend with an organization that is against your values, you are indeed making an impact) you will begin to feel less stress and anxiety, you’ll be participating in the solution. It’s going to take patience and perseverance, it’s going to take commitment and resolve, it’s going to take conscious action and you have the ability to embody all of that.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I believe in you. I believe in humanities heart and I believe we’ll break free of the chrysalis.


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