Mercury is in retrograde and will be apparently for the rest of the year. I feel like this entire year has been a series of planetary practical jokes from our little trickster. That little planet may be little – but can cause oh so much trouble, so I hear. (Sounds a lot like me!)
To be honest, until this year I never paid much attention to astrology. Of course I dabbled and when it was convenient used the old “She’s a Taurus” – rolling my eyes as if that explained it all. As if I actually understood it. Which, I don’t, really. I’ve chalked astrology up to too much information and not enough time. But for some reason it has been thrown at me like a football on Thanksgiving this year. I’ve spent many nights gazing up at those sparkling beauties in the sky waiting to see if they will reveal the answers I’m looking for.
I recently had multiple sightings of foxes (Yes in LA). I’ve not seen them much in my life, so I wondered why that little trickster was popping up now. Again, something new- animal signs, hmmmm. Well not entirely new- I had an amazing experience with a white owl once, and hawks seem to follow me everywhere. Again, fun to dabble in, but really come on, animals giving me signs?
I’ve always felt that putting too much stock in animals or the planets (or crystals or whales for that matter) would just slow me down. I mean who can keep up with all this stuff?! It’s all so overwhelming, as if somehow if I believed in it too much it might get in the way of my gut, that gut I have relied on my whole life. (ok, so maybe I need to re-examine that partnership) I’m a really practical, logical person. (She says as if to justify her unwillingness to see the signs or be open to something new and different) So ok – maybe I could open up a bit to some outside (or inside) wisdom.
But the truth is – I become afraid of the unknown – of things that aren’t easily explained and logical. I like the known. And sometimes it’s down right contradictory! Is the 3rd Chakra blue, pink, red?! Jeez, if I’m not careful and I believed in all that stuff and the meaning was bad or scary, I might freeze up and actually create what ever it was supposedly warning me of! And there you have it folks, Fear. The truth is I am afraid of what all of those things, the planets, the animals, the crystals might show me, teach me. Arg! Fear! Always back to fear. What the hell am I so afraid of!
Lately, I have been working on my fears. Ticking them off my little to do list. I can overcome a fear one day and right on it’s tails is another. They reproduce like rabbits around here! Oddly enough today, my gut, my animals and the planets all seem to be aligned. The message is clear. It’s quite a big trick however, because they are all telling me to do the one thing I seem to be really afraid of doing. That is just being. Let it be – leave it alone, become invisible, observe and sit back a wait.
Ok I’m waiting….still waiting….